Where Familiar Suffering Ends, and Embodied Calm Begins
Where familiar suffering ends, and embodied calm begins
Your nervous system isn’t addicted to chaos – it’s just homesick for what’s familiar. Time to give it a new address: peace.
Sometimes peace feels unsafe – until your body learns it’s home.
Rewire Your Comfort Zone
Step 1: Name your comfort zone.
List five words that best describe your childhood environment.
Example: chaotic, unpredictable, quiet, controlling, exciting, loving, lonely, boring, fun…
These are the frequencies your nervous system has learned to call home.
You’ll keep recreating these dynamics – not because they’re right for you – but because they’re familiar.
Step 2: Spot the ‘stuck’ loop.
When you step into the unknown, your body panics and drags you back into old familiar identities – overthinking, people pleasing, perfectionism, struggle…
Ask: To what degree am I still living that loop?
Breathe in thriving – till it scores 100. Breathe out the loop, till it scores 0.
Step 3: Redefine comfort.
You were very likely trained to associate comfort with suffering, instead of thriving.
Let’s dial up a new thriving link: peace, stability, self-trust, confidence, joy…
Breathe into whichever new link appeals till you score 100.
You’ve just rewired your nervous system.
With every choice from here on in – dial your preferred ‘thriving’ link first – then act.
Keep it on speed dial.
The Comfort Test (Long Version)
Are you thriving, or just surviving?
Step 1: Name your comfort zone.
List five adjectives that best describe your childhood environment (whatever surfaces).
Example: chaotic, unpredictable, quiet, controlling, exciting, loving, lonely.
These are the frequencies your nervous system learned to call home.
You’ll keep seeking out people, jobs, and dynamics that match them – not necessarily because they’re right for you, but because they’re familiar.
Step 2: Recognise the pattern.
As you step into the new thriving version of you that’s not yet been experienced, your body and subconscious mind have no memory of this state – only of surviving.
So they try to self-soothe by dragging you back into familiar patterns, old identities:
- Overthinking
- People pleasing
- Perfectionism
- Struggle
Let’s check:
To what degree have I learned to thrive, not survive?
Score it out of 100. If it’s 100, then breathe into the 100.
Step 3: Redefine comfort.
You’ve been trained to associate comfort with suffering.
That’s why change feels dangerous – and healing, growth, transformation feel like you’re losing yourself.
Let’s rewire your baseline:
Write what you want comfort to mean now.
- “I now associate comfort with peace.”
- “I now associate comfort with stability.”
- “I now associate comfort with self-trust.”
Score your comfort level again.
Then breathe into 100.
Step 4: Cross the threshold.
You’ve now moved from the frequency of survival into the resonance of thriving – from familiarity to freedom.
Your body is learning that peace is safe.
This is what being you was always meant to feel like.
Every breath you take into 100 is a vote for your new reality.
Keep dialling thriving as comfort. Delete the other phone numbers.
